Testing tomorrow!!!

I am going to poas tomorrow morning and I am really nervous. I have cold feet. I wholeheartedly and excitedly started ttc this month, but now I am nervous and almost afraid of a bfp.

I am not sure if maybe this is because this has been a horrible week and I am so overwhelmed and feel like I am spread so thin as it is. Levi was sick with a stomach bug, work has been really busy and we found out our mortgage is going up significantly because our property taxes DOUBLED.

But then maybe I am feeling this way because I just don't know if I am ready to have a second child already . Maybe we should have waited a couple more months... and then I feel guilty for having all of these feelings. I don't want to feel this way and then get a bfp and have something go wrong.

Idk, the whole thing just doesn't feel right, right now.