Can I cry and scream at the same time?

One of my close co-workers had a baby (well, his wife did) tuesday early am, and he came into the office today for the first time since then.

I had tears streaming down my face while I sat at my desk (in the cube directly across from his) pretending to work, but really listening to him talk to every single other person in the building who stopped by his desk to ask about his baby.

I am bitter because his baby was unplanned. Yet here I am; tried and failed – and miserable. Thinking all about how unfair life is. Thinking about how we were going to start telling all our friends and family this weekend. Thinking about how I am supposed to be happy when I hear stories about his baby, smile and think about the one I had growing in me.

I avoided him the rest of the time he was here. I don't know how to act 'normal'. I want to be a good friend, but it seems so forced and fake to pretend it doesn't hurt.