Newborn at the office

Ahhh! My main cause of distress the past 4 weeks has been the fact that one of my very close co-workers had a baby 11 days after my m/c.

I have managed not to get emotional or angry when everyone talks about his new little one, even though I also haven't been really cheerful or supportive to him either. But now today he told me his wife is coming to the office to show off the little tyke tommorrow!

I just want the ground to open up and swallow me. Seriously, I am so tired of pretending to be happy when everybody talks about his baby I could puke.

How is it that I can want a baby and miss the one I had growing in me so much, and at the same time want to avoid anything and everything baby and pregnancy related?

Frusterating! I was super excited about his new arrival until I m/c, and used to ask him questions all the time, now I just pretend like he never had a baby, because talking bout his makes me want to cry.

I don't know what to do. Part of me want to just leave and avoid the whole situation altogether, but then I don't really want to be mean, or draw attention to myself either.

Why does this have to be so hard?