Thursday, May 28, 2009

My breastfeeding vent...

I think it is so tough. When you are pregnant everyone tells you their horror stories about l&d and asks if you are nervous about that, but nobody talks about how hard bf is! Labor wasn't fun, but at least once it was over, it was over, and I had my little boy. Bf just keeps going and going...

It is getting better slowly, but I can't say I enjoy it at all. I had some major latching issues on one side (apparently that nipple is just a little flatter?) and that has gotten better, but now even tho the lactation consultant says he's got a great latch, my poor nipples hurt ALL THE TIME.

And I hate that I can't sleep for more than about a 2 hour stretch :( I can't wait to start pumping so dh can help with a feeding at night, and so I can get out of the house without worrying that I will have to bf while we are out.

Friday, May 15, 2009

Levi is Here! (My Birth Story)

It has been a long time since my last post, I know, shame on me! But I have exciting news! Levi Carter has finally arrived! It has been quite the journey, but on May 12, my little 8lb, 6 oz miracle was born :)

I know I have really enjoyed reading other people's birth stories, so I thought I'd share mine:

After being dialated to 4cm for at least four or five days, I went back into the clinic on Monday, May 11th for another check-up. My doctor couldn't believe I hadn't had my baby over the weekend! She told me she had delivered another baby at the hospital the previous Thursday and told the nurses to expect a call from me!

The internal exam didn't show much progress, about a 1/2 cm, so my doctor stripped my membranes and again gave me the option to go get hooked up to some pitocin. I really wanted to have a natural birth, so I declined. Then we went over her schedule for the week. Turns out she would be out of town that Thursday through Sunday, so if I went into labor while she was gone, I would get the on-call OB, and if the baby wasn't here by the time she came back, she wanted me to go to the hospital and get induced - neither was something that I wanted.

So, I left the clinic and went and sat in my car and called dh. Given our choices and how miserably uncomfortable I was, we decided to go ahead wth the pitocin. Back into the clinic I went and scheduled an induction for 7:30 the following morning.

I felt so guilty, because I wanted my baby to come when he was ready and to pick his own birthday, plus I really wanted to go without the drugs, but I also knew I would be upset if my doctor wasn't around or if I waited another week just to get induced anyways.

Turns out I fretted for nothing! After having my mebranes stripped, I was crampy and had lower back pain all day, progressively getting stronger, just like it had after my appt the week before. Only this time, it didn't go away after I went to bed!

I had only been asleep for about an hour, when I woke up at exactly midnight with strong contactrions. I started timing them for the next hour since I couldn't sleep and they went from 5 minutes apart to about 4. So I woke up dh and told him I was going to get ready just incase. I wanted to wait it out as long as possible, so I took a super long hot shower (until we ran out of hot water!) which felt awesome and really helped with the pain. The I got dressed, did my make-up, packed last minute things, and just wasted time. Finally at almost 3 am I called the nurses station at the birth center and asked the nurse who answered if she thought I should come in. She mentioned a hot bath, which I thought sounded great, so I woke hubby up and told him I wanted to go!

He of course, took his time too, not wanting to be bored at the hospital all day, and was even packing some work and reading material! I was not thrilled with this, but didn't feel like arguing, so I just let it go. We finally got to the hospital about 4:15 am.

We checked in and I got hooked up to the monitoring equipment, we did paper work and just kinda hung out. I did get an internal check which showed I was at about 5cm. I was not impressed with that! After about a half hour they let me walk around the room and try bouncing on the birthing ball, but I couldn't go to far, because the nurse still wanted me hooked up to the fetal monitor - she thought Levi was being a little quiet.

That was very dissapointing to me, because I really wanted to soak in a warm bath. The shower I had taken earlier felt so good, I was sure a bath would help.

I tried a whole bunch of different standing and sitting positions and nothing was comfortable.The contrax sucked, but even worse was the fact that I had back labor that never went away, it was steady and consistent the whole time. I just kept whimpering to dh that it hurt. Poor guy, he wanted to help, but there wasn't anything he could do.

My doctor came in at about 7 am, she did another internal and I was at 6-7 cm, and she decided to break my water. There went any hope I had for a bath!

The water breaking was a shocker. There was just so much! It just kept coming! I am so glad it didn't break on its own, that would have been quite the mess! It was really warm feeling too, which I didn't expect.

The contactions got MUCH stronger after my water was broken. I guess all the fluid padded the pain? All I know was that I was squeezing dh's hand and the bar on the bed til my knuckles were completely white.

Before my doctor left the room she wanted to clarify that fact that I didn't want any pain meds. I was getting worried about the increasing intensity of everything so I asked her how long she thought it would be now that my water was broke, and she said it could go quick, or could be hours. I told her I definitely didn't want the epidural, but was worried that if it took too long I would be all worn out and wouldn't have the strength to push and deal with the pain, so I opted to have a shot of Fentanyl put into my IV. I had done my research and found that this narcotic was the one that had the least side effects and least effects on baby. So my doctor ordered the med and then gave me a rundown of her schedule; she said that she was going to go deliver another baby down the hall and that after that she would come check on me and then go to the clinic (in the next town) for her daily appts. The nurses were going to call her when she needed to come deliver my baby. This sounded reasonable to me, and I was glad she was keeping me informed.

So off my doctor went, and shortly thereafter (about 7:30) dh left too so he could go home and take care of our dog, before he was left home alone all day. He was going to wait until they gave me the pain med, but it was taking awhile so I told him just to leave.

When the nurse gave me the Fentanyl, it hit me right away. This narcotic doesn't take away the pain, but it makes you relax, so you can get some rest. It was so wierd, I could definitely still feel the pain, but I also felt like I was completely wasted and ready to pass out! The room started spinning and I could barely keep my eyes open. There was a nurse in my room setting things up and getting everything prepped and I wanted to watch, but ended up falling asleep. I woke up maybe 20-30 minutes later, it was just after 8am and the effects had mostly worn off. Perfect timing because right after I woke up, hubby came back :) I was so glad to see him! The pain after the narcotic wore off was so intense, it reminded me of how a migraine leaves you completely debilitated and unable to talk or think through it. There was still a nurse in my room so I told her I wanted more of that stuff, but she said I was only allowed one dose an hour so I had to wait about 20 more minutes until 8:30.


Meanwhile I had ther put some new pads underneath me (for the second time) because my water was still leaking out and I was sitting in a puddle.

Hubby held my hand through a couple more contractions (which were now coming like right on top of each other( and he told me later I was frantically squeezing it like I couldn't even find a comfortable way to squeeze his hand.

Well, I never got the other dose of fentanyl because all the sudden I turned to dh wide-eyed and said I feel like I have to push! When the feeling got stronger through the next contraction and I didn't think I could hold back from pushing, I told the nurse, who was still in our room and she said to go ahead and push, which I thought was the wierdest thing. I was worried I would push my baby out before my doctor got there. I was also worried that my doctor had gone back to the clinic already and wouldn't make it back in time.

Turns out my doctor was still down the hall with the other patient of hers, so she was in my room in a hurry! That was a relief! She took a peak down there and said that there was just a tiny bit of a lip of the cervix left and that I was ready to push my baby out! Terrifying to hear but I was so happy to hear that I didn't have to hold back from pushing because I really didn't think I could!

At first I tried pushing through each contraction, but I just knew that everytime I relaxed to breathe that his head was getting sucked back in (dh later confirmed my suspicion) so I ended up trying to push straight through, but then I wasn't getting as strong of pushes and wasn't breathing right, so I ended up sort of like panting. AT some point my doctor looked up and said "Rose! Stop! You need to breathe!" She was afraid I would hyperventalate. I was also still clinging to dh's hand and the bar of the bed, so she had me grab hold behind my things and try to push starting at the beginning of a contraxtion and just keep pushing through that breathe until I needed to breathe again, and then breath and start over with another push. I just kept doing this pattern and following my own breathing needs because the contractions didn't have any rest time in between so there was no point in trying to follow them.

Dh told me he could see the head crowning and was really encouraging, but I honestly don't remember much of this, I apologized to him later for not looking at him the whole time - I thought I had my eyes closed, but he told me I was looking into his eyes for part of the time! I didn't even know it!

The new push method felt like it was much more effective and soon my doctor was telling me to hold the next push as long as I could because his head was coming out! I did and it was so amazing feeling his little head slide out! I was so happy and thought I could stop to breathe for a minute, but apparently not, my doc wanted that baby out! The rest was easier to push out, I think it only took a few pushes, and then I remember listening for a cry. I just wanted to hear him cry and know he was okay.

I am sure it only took a second or two for them to suck the fluid out of his nose and mouth so he could breathe and cry, but it seemed like forever. I know DH cut the cord too. (He told me it squirted pretty forcefully when he cut it, and the doctor must have expected it because she leaned back before he did the snip)

Then they laid him up on my abdomen and I finally got to meet my little boy :D

All ten fingers and all ten toes, he was perfect.

I honestly don't know how long I pushed for but I think it must have seemed longer than it was, because he was born at 8:39 am.

It was really painful, but I am so glad I did it without the epidural. It was so amazing being able to feel him being born! And Dh said it was so cool to watch. He had to fight back tears and told me that it was the best day of his life.

Everything went better than I expected and I am so in love with my little boy! Being a mommy is great!

Monday, May 11, 2009

39 Week Appt Update

By the time I went in for my 39 week prenatal appointment (Thursday, May 7th), I was growing very weary of all the late term pregnancy symptoms. I hadn't had any signs of labor either. Hubby was pretty disappointed all those nesting instincts hadn't kicked in - he was looking forward to a clean house and baked goods, lol ;)

At a previous appt, my doctor and I had discussed how she doesn't believe in doing internal exams too early, because they don't really mean anything, but said she might do one at 39 weeks, and for sure at 40. So in I went to my appt, really hoping she would take a peek and let me know if anything was going on down there. While the nurse was taking my weight down, she let me know my OB was running late from a surgery she had that am. Then she took my blood pressure and checked out my swollen feet and decided that since the doctor was running late anyways, why not do an NST? So all hooked up I went, everything looked great and there was no sign of contractions anywhere - boo!

Since I was already on the table when my ob arrived, she decided to get right down to business with an internal. Immediately, she looked up at me eyes wide and says "Are you in labor?!?" I was just like, "Uh, I don't think so... there weren't any contractions on the nst." So she followed up by telling me that I was 4cm dialated and the bag of waters was bulging and felt ready to pop at any time!

I was so excited! She even said that if I wanted to, I could go on up to the hospital and get things jump started with some pitocin right then. I declined tho, because I really wanted to have this baby naturally. I did express my concern about working so far from the hospital tho (about an hour and a half away) and she told me no more work! Who-hoo! I left with instructions to go home and take a long walk and come back first thing Monday morning if I was still pregnant :)

I thought for sure I would go into labor that day/night sometime, since after my appt I was crampy and had a lower back ache, so I went and filled up the car with gas, went to the grocery store, went home and picked up somethings so the house looked somewhat presentable when visitors came. Then I went for a long walk, and nothing...

Then the next day I lost my plug and thought for sure something was going to happen. I called up my doctors nurse just to make sure that was it because my OB had told me I should have already lost my plug being so far dialated. I thought it was strange I never saw it! I didn't think it looked anything like other girls describe. To me it looked like a chunk of raw chicken. Gross, I know. The nurse told me I could come back in for another check, and I was curious to see if there was anymore progress, so back in I went. My Dr was surprised to see me since she had said Monday, but she went ahead and checked anyways, but no more progress. Ugh. So home for the weekend I went.

There was a full moon on Saturday, and Sunday was Mother's day, so I really thought baby would be here before the end of the weekend. But despite eating spicy food (Doritos jalepeno popper flavored chips) and taking a bumpy 4wheeler ride, baby decided he wanted to stay put!
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