Miscarriage in a bottle

I am starting to be able to function a little better, but its still hard - I feel like I have this huge, sad secret rolled up in a bottle and when I try to throw it farther from shore, it just keeps floating back to me.

It has been very tough trying to deal with this while feeling so alone.

My husband is trying, but doesn't really get it. He really just looks at everything as a TTC hurdle and not as a loss. He also works ALOT, (he didn't even make it to the ER until I'd been there alone for 4 hours night of the m/c - he was an hour away at work, but chose to finish out the day and do an errand for his boss, and go home to change out of work clothes before he came) so he is never really home, and when he is sometimes I just want to be held and try to forget everything and be comfortable for a while, so when I accused him of not understanding or listening to me, he tells me that he'll listen if I talk! Its just a mess.

In addition to that, one of my bff's hasn't spoken to me since I shared my bfp with her. I have tried to IM her, but she mysteriously logs off every time I try to send her a message - but wait - she's still online on Facebook...

The icing on the cake today: My close co-worker's wife just had a baby this morning too, so the office is abuzz with baby talk. And of course, since my cube is right across from his and we are so close - everybody is coming in and asking me about it! So here I sit, trying to be smiley and happy all day. I mean, don't get me wrong, I am really happy for him, but that doesn't mean I want to think and talk about babies all day long! A constant reminder of what I am trying to file away so I can return to a normal functioning me!